moxx

So mock exams finished a week ago, and now I know all my results. Lo' and behold:

4- Maths Higher Level
6- English A1 Higher Level
6- Art Higher Level
5- Biology Standard
5- History Standard
6- French B Standard

So that's 32 points, and I'm happy because well, I thought I would fail. I passed though, one of the highest points in the year yet by worldwide IB stats, not that impressive.
But quite frankly, I don't care. I wouldn't have cared too much even if I had failed because I'll be honest: I'm not quite sure what to do. Well you all know I want to study architecture but I don't know what to do about it.

Anyway, that's not the point. The point is, I passed and can now breathe for 2 days before I need to get cracking on some internal assessments, TOK presentations, homework, orals, etc.etc.etc.

I'm in the middle of mock exams, mock exams being exams that mock you- you stress and fret and run around until you realise they don't really mean anything. I've got maths in 2 hours and I'm about to shit myself.

I've realised my way of speaking may seem quite negative, especially when considering the world and most specifically god (for which I won't apologise but for the rest I will), I'm sorry. I've been influenced by the ever great Bryn, a dear dear friend of mine from years ago.
Who absolutely hates everything.

I don't, let me clear that up. I absolutely love the world and almost everything in it. Well, almost everything. I don't love black metal, for sure, despite the constant nagging and linking of Bathory and whatnot by this mister Bryn, but who gives a shit?

I aint here to tell you to hate the world.
I aint here to tell you anything.

Fuck off and do something productive with your life.

We're Miserable Now

When we are in kindergarten we are happy. We laugh and run around, covered in piss and shit and whatever, but we still giggle because guess what? It doesn't matter. We eat and smother the food all over our cute little chubby faces.

Then someone teaches us about the world, and we become miserable.

We're lectured about child labour in third world countries; Bangladesh, India, China. Or ridiculous pay of 9c an hour in these same countries, or in Africa, perhaps. "Don't buy these products, buy authentic products made here in the USA/Netherlands/or any other first world country," they say.

But these products cost ten times more.

And those of us who can't afford this, have to go against our principles of opposing child labour and unfair pay, because we have to eat too.
Our hypocrisy makes us miserable.

Nobody gets to choose who their parents are. Yet, we are obligated to love them. Don't love me? You're grounded. Or we are judged if we legitimately don't like our parents. If they were not your parents, would you love them? I love mine, but if they were not my parent's, could I? No, I would think they are shallow, stupid and harsh.

But I have to love them.

They all tell us love is amazing and great, and they all tell us men are bastards and women are selfish cunts. How can we love bastards and bitches? And why does it hurt so much when they stop loving you?
Why call them bastards and cunts when theyve just hurt you?

Not to mention all the bad people. We have to teach you about the bad people in the world, the world is not a great place.
And then you complain that we are immature. Why grow up when the world out there is evil and cruel?

We became miserable when you taught us about the world.