blabbering

What if we are not real? Nothing we work for or achieve has any meaning. What if we are a figment of my imagination, my subconscious plays you all like my own little private barbie army? Or someone else's, in this case a higher being who really is imagining everything, and none of this is real.

But then I don't believe in higher beings, thus I must reject that thought. However, what if that higher being were a figment of the imagination of a regular being? That would make us twice figments of imagination.

Then how about if we are real, but we have no meaning. None of our actions are real, and in the long run don't have any effect on anything because in the end we are smaller than an electron in the sahara desert when compared to the universe; to the real reality. If that one electron disappears, perhaps there is a slight imbalance in the atom, but looking at the desert as a whole it makes no difference. Does it?

So if our actions have no meaning in the long run, why do we exist? We are not here by chance, but by a very long chain of events, as we all know... but why? Does there need to be a why? Can we not just exist for the sake of existing? Why do we exist? Can we simply answer: "because we want to"?

Hang on a second, so if there is no reason for us to exist, and our actions may not be real, then we can do whatever the fuck we want? If our actions aren't real then the consequences can't be real either, right? So let's go on a murder spree because life has no meaning! Okay maybe our actions are real and have real consequences...

But do they matter in the long run? Do they really? Does that mean we shouldn't care, just because in a million years no one will give a shit? Well I don't know. Are we just hard wired by society to give a shit? Because it helps us to survive as a species, and all that biological blabber.

Because I'm an atheist, and this all goes on in my mind, am I more likely to actually go on a killing spree, do drugs and whatnot? It probably makes no difference in the long run of things, in a million years no one will know of me or you, and perhaps not even of Earth at all- I can do whatever the fuck I want, really.

But I don't want to go on a killing spree.

Let's love.