Not interested

You know, I'm more interesting than people think I am. The biggest problem is, I'm not beautiful. I'm okay, I'm pretty enough to glance at, and perhaps to approach in a bar at the end of the night. I'm amiable enough to ask directions from, and then from the way I act, people stand around and speak to me for a while.

Those things that happen, whatever they may be, and at the time you think "I really don't want to talk about this"... to be honest, you probably won't get a chance to. No one asks. After a while you want to talk about it, because at the surface you seem like an average middle-class kid whose going through an identity crisis. But it's not that. I've felt shit.

Thing is, if you begin to talk about it, you seem like you want the attention... which perhaps you do. However you also don't want to put people in an awkward position, where all they can say is "Oh shame, I'm sorry" or "Oh. Yeah" or "That's great". They have no idea what you're talking about.

Yet, even worse than that is your friends, or people who you think know you. When they hear a story and they say "wow". That pisses me off. Because, did you really think I was such a shallow piece of shit? Did you think I lived here, moved there once, graduated, went to university, dropped out because I didn't like it, and now I'm here? I've had a life. If you know me you wouldn't be surprised by the stories I tell. Perhaps amused. Perhaps let-down. Whatever, but not surprised.

I never get a chance though. Strangers don't ask me. They ask my beautiful friend, or don't bother at all. My friends don't ask me, they don't think about those things. I do, simply because I want someone to ask me. But perhaps they think I'm intruding. I don't know.

I may not be interesting, but I know shit. I can talk about shit. I have had a very interesting life. Maybe I'm just not interesting.

I have problems but I love me

In the past few days I've heard from multiple people that multiple people think I'm... what was it?
High Maintenance.


So I did a bit of googling, because I know that it's not a positive thing to be called. This is what I found:


1. Needs lots of time

2. Needs lots of effort

3. Are very fussy and particular

4. Are difficult and troublesome

5. Are annoying

6. Have high expectations of her partner or date

7. Will be quick to reject a person if those expectations are not met

8. Hard to please, not easily impressed

9. Takes forever to get ready

10. Something all but the most patient and tolerant men should avoid like the plague.”


And then I found:


1. If your purse holds more than 5 lbs of ESSENTIALS . . .

2. If you own more than 50 pairs of shoes . . .

3. If your make-up case is a double-decker toolbox from Sears . . .

4. If a small family could live in your closet . . .

5. If more than 3 items in your closet still have price tags . . .

6. If your jewelry box used to be a high-boy chest . . .

7. If you have more underwear than you can wear in 3 months . . .

8. If a weekend trip takes more than 1 piece of luggage . . .

9. If you spend more on hair products than groceries . . .

10. If your dry-cleaning bill is more than your car payment . . .

11. If you have a weekly Botox appointment . . .

12. If you’re still making payments on your last plastic surgery . . . 


Now, I know exactly the individuals who think I'm high maintenance. Now let me clear something up, the only things I am guilty of on those 2 lists are
Being annoying
Taking forever to get ready (but only to an event)


Thing is, even if I was high maintenance, I can maintain myself. I've never needed a guy to get me make up, to go shopping with me, to buy me nice things, or wait around while I get ready. I go shopping only in the summer, which would be evident from the amount of holes in my clothes. 
Even IF I was high maintenance, it would not affect anyone but me. I've never chosen anyone based on money or looks (unless you look like the elephant man, then I might be a bit put off).
So I'm gonna say- fuck you. I'm not high maintenance. In fact, I'm pretty low maintenance. I'm quite content with everything.


Now while I'm on the topic of choosing people, someone I was talking to awhile ago said something that rather bothered me, but since it wasn't his main point, I ignored it.
And you know exactly who you are, you who said this.
"you weren't interested in guys like me. course you weren't. **** sorta proved that"
This bothered me. You know why? Because I don't go for people depending on their overall "essence". If I don't like Z's friend, doesn't mean I can't like Z. (Z being a random person). 
You see people, I don't have a type I go for. I don't even have standards. I can't say my dream person is so and so, or that I usually go for guys that are so and so.
If I like someone, I like them because of they way they are. Sometimes they're a dick, sometimes they're the shyest kid I know, but they're all real. 


Anyway, my little rant is over.
Nightnight.

Computers are not alive

Today we had a great discussion in TOK (Theory of Knowledge for all you non-IB kids, basically a class so full of bullshit you're wondering where all the bulls at), about the hierarchy of life in the future. My smart-ass teacher decided to provoke the issue of "Can computers be considered living things?".
NO. They can't. I'm going to tell you why.
As someone who does biology, I can tell you the 6 properties of living things

• Ability to maintain a stable internal state (temperature etc.).
• Being composed of one or more cells.
• Consuming energy, and decomposing matter
• They grow at some point in their life time
• Change, or evolution. In other words, living things evolve over time.
• Reproduction

Now, I may be missing something but I'm pretty fucking sure that other than maintaining a semistable internal state (via fans and stuff) and consuming energy (and money for that matter) a computer has none of the other properties. A computer is not made of cells, living things are made out of cells. A computer is made out of atoms and molecules, not cells. It does not have DNA.

Neither does a computer grow. My computer is now the same exact size it was 2 years ago. I don't know what you're tripping on, sir, but unless you're on some serious drugs, shrinking, or in need of a shrink, computers do not grow.

Neither do they evolve. Yeah I know, my laptop now is better than that piece of crap they used in the 70's. That box however, did not make little computer babies that made more computer babies and more computer babies until you get my amazing stud of a computer. No. Wrong.

My computer does not need water, which is "essential to all living things". It doesn't poop. It doesn't die. And no, crashing does not mean dying- we can still fix it. Unless you blow that shit up it's fixable, and if nothing happened to it it wouldn't die. We get viruses sure, and so do they but seriously? Is that all we've got?

So yeah, maybe I'm thinking "inside a box" but at least I'm not fucking retarded.