Thursday, 22 April 2010


I recently found a fanpage on facebook called "60 things a girl wants but won't tell you" or something to that tune. I've copy&pasted that whole list, and am here to straighten some shit out because really, there is no girl on earth this soft. This page must have been either created by a really lonely girl, or a guy who thinks he knows women.
So it's time for some true and false here.

1. Touch her waist. T
2. Actually talk to her. T
3. Share secrets with her. T
4. Give her 1 of your sweatshirts
This one is more complicated. Don't just randomly give her a sweatshirt. If she's cold/in your bed in the morning and has nothing to wear, and you don't mind, then by all means go for it.
5. Kiss her slowly. T
6. Hug her. T
7. Hold her. T, not all the time though.
8. Laugh with her. Only if it's funny
9. Invite her everywhere. Not necessary.
10. Hangout with her and your friends together. Not really necessary either, though it can be useful.
11. Smile with her.
12. Take pictures with her. Who the hell puts this in here? Some like it, some don't. Personally I don't mind at all but not all girls want to take pictures of themselves all the time.
13. Pull her onto your lap. But not in a creepy grabby way that seems more like rape.
14. When she says she loves you more, deny it. Fight back. It can be cute, but then it can get awkward because you get to the point where either you think "Maybe they're right" or "If I'm right, then they might leave me." Yeah.
15. When her friends say i love her more than you, deny it. fight back and hug her tight so she can't get to her friends. it makes her feel loved. Doesn't really matter.
16. Always hug her and say hi whenever you see her. Not always necessary, but don't just ignore. That's not cool anymore.
17. Kiss her unexpectedly. T
18. Hug her from behind around the waist. T
19. Tell her she's beautiful. If you think so.
20. Tell her the way you feel about her. Once in a while, not all the time.
21. Open doors for her, walk her to her car (if any)- it makes her feel protected, plus it never hurts to act like a gentleman. This is fine, just not too much because it can get overbearing.
22. Tell her she's your everything - ONLY if you mean it. Don't. It's far too much pressure for anyone who's not Romeo and Juliet or a married couple.
23. If it seems like there is something wrong, ask her- if she denies something being wrong, it means she doesnt want to talk about it - so just hug her. T
24. Make her feel loved. T
25. Kiss her in front of other girls you know. Don't. This will make it seem like you've got some sort of point to prove to the girls you know. Don't kiss her in a showing off manner, but maybe just quickly, no heavy PDA needed, really. Plus she won't appreciate being treated like some skank in front of other females.
26. DON'T lie to her. Well, this really depends on the girl. I think everyone lies, but I still always trust people. Just don't lie for the purpose of evul!
27. DON'T cheat on her! T
28. Take her ANYWHERE she wants. Umn, don't. Girls like nice guys, not softies, and not wussies who do everything for them. It's good to go where she wants, but don't go everywhere, and every time. Unless she goes with you also.
29. Text messege or call her in the morning and tell her have a good day at work {or school}, and how much you MISS her. If you're going to see them that day, don't. And if you don't, then you can, but don't make it creepy.
30. Be there for her when ever she needs you, & even when she doesn't need you, just be there so she'll know that she can always count on you. T
31. Hold her close when she's cold so she can hold you too. T
32. When you are ALONE hold her close and kiss her. T
33. Kiss her on the cheek: (it will give her the hint that you want to kiss her). Or you can just kiss her.
34. While in the movies, put your arm around her and then she will automatically put her head on your shoulder, then lean in and tilt her chin up and kiss her lightly. T
35. Dont ever tell her to leave even jokingly or act like you're mad. If shes upset, comfort her. This really only applies to girls who are very insecure with themselves, because this doesn't affect me. If it's jokingly, who cares? Unless you're a dick.
36. When people diss her, stand up for her. T, when it's serious.
37. Look deep into her eyes and tell her you love her. Only if you mean it, and if you've been together for awhile.
38. Lay down under the stars and put her head on your chest so you can cuddle. Well, yeah okay.
39. When walking next to each other grab her hand. T
40. When you hug her hold her in your arms as long as possible. No, it can get uncomfortable and longwinded. Do it for a comfortable period of time, and when you're alone. Not in the middle of a crowded room with people wondering why you're hugging for 20 minutes.
41. Call or text her every night to wish her sweet dreams. Absolutely not necessary. It can be nice, but it can also be fucking clingy.
42. Comfort her when she cries and wipe away her tears. T
43. Take her for long walks at night. On occasion, not too much.
44. Always remind her how much you love her. Again, ONLY if you mean it and only if she responds to your feelings.
45. Sit on top of her and tell her how much you love her and then bend down to her face and kiss her while sitting on her. Yeah I'm not exactly sure what's being described here, but it doesn't sound bad.
46. Rub her back it feels good Sometimes.
47. Give her your coat if she's cold,thats always cute Unless you're fucking freezing.
48. Write letters on her back with your finger it feels good  It really does.
49. Let her sit on your lap Even if she's 400kg.
50. Dont poke her hard...but if you want to mess around just do it lightly. T
51. Hold her hand in public T, but you don't need to if around friends.
52. Even if she looks bad one day tell her she's Beautiful No, don't. Tell her she's beautiful when she is beautiful.
53. Keep conversations about anything usually they just go along with it. Sometimes silence is golden.
54. If their hair is in their face move it out of her face and then kiss her passionatley and gently. T
55. Surprisingly sneek up on her and hug her from behind. Unless it seems like rape.
56. Kiss her in the rain. It's actually not that nice.
57. Pick her up like in The Notebook and kiss her. Unless you can't lift her.
58. Slow dance with no music T
59. Don't ignore her or be nervous around her--everything is going to be okay. T
60. Love her, kiss her, hold her, and you'll be good to go. ;D 

So I thought that since that's a lot of truth, but also a lot of crap, it would be easier for me to just put a list here of stuff you DON'T need to do

  • Tell her you love her all the time
  • Stalk her
  • Show her off to your friends
  • Worship her
  • Brag to your friends about your sex life, right in front of her
  • Do everything she wants
  • Eat her bedsheets
  • Poke holes in condoms just because you want all her babies
  • Do everything for her
  • Be a prick on purpose and think it'll get you somewhere
  • Constantly hang around her
  • Get jealous about everything
  • Steal her panties, wank off to them and then steal them
  • Make out all the time
  • Give her herspes, clamydia, any other STI, HIV, AIDS or babies. 
  • Organise a threesome with another girl without consulting her first.
Yeah, I think I covered the essentials.

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